Future Dystopia Creative Writing

Future Dystopia Creative Writing

I quietly sit on the tallest skyscraper alone, watching our home. Beyond my reach, I stared at it. The surface that used to be full of greens and blues, now turned to browns. Its surroundings that used to be white, now turned dull grey. I scanned my vision to every part of this city. People, who seemed to forget that their homes were devastated before, are busily working like nothing was ever taken from them. They used to take care of and preserve nature, but now they have forgotten the importance of the trees and oceans. Although some, who still value their memories in their old planet continue to conserve nature that was once a part of them.

I don’t hate this planet because without it all of us will vanish into extinction, leaving no living organism in this cruel world. However, I don’t like it either. The revolting smell of the city suffocates me. Its metallic smell, that tastes like rust, brings illness to the people, slowly killing each and every one of us.  I can feel the disgust running through my veins as I look at my surroundings. The scorching sun felt like an arrow, piercing my dry, sensitive skin. The sun, which gives light and energy to everyone, doesn’t look as bright as it was in our old planet because it is nearer than where we live in today. Mars, our new planet, is surrounded by many unwanted gases that makes people susceptible to diseases. The people are helplessly suffering from iron overload. Annually the population is going down because doctors nor other citizens does not want to help people who has the disease. Why would they, when the only treatment to it is to get some of the sick person’s blood? Everyone of us have this disease, so why would we help when it will only risk our lives?

I hear an ambulance siren slowly approaching near to where I’m at. They carried a person, who collapsed in the middle of the road probably because of iron overload,  to the van. It was quite a pity. The people just walked past the old man a while ago, like no one died before them. This is the reason why they disgust me. They act like they don’t feel any emotion, any sympathy to the people around them. They act like they won’t ever die the same process as the old man. But they will, eventually. They can’t really control it… because they didn’t quite think about the consequences in giving up their old, wooden homes, in order for them to be transported in a rich city which they always dreamt about. They had greed for money, wealth. This made them become heartless, selfish and not caring for others.

The sun went down so fast. The moon has always been missing at this planet. The sky has no moon, no stars, and just… pitch black. There’s no light in darkness except for the city lights powered by electricity which keeps nighttime not as scary as living on this planet.

I stand up, and walk towards the door. I turn the knob to open the portal to our house. When I arrived, I saw my mum just watching the television. Everyone changed since they lived in this planet. Even my mum, my dad, my brother. They only care about themselves now.

10 years ago, we used to sit in front of the same television and laugh about comedy skits we used to watch. My father used to always scold me for using my game console too much that I forget doing my homework. My brother, who used to always tease me yet protect me from harm, now lives far away from us by himself. I can’t help but reminisce the memories. All the ups and downs that we’ve been through together. All the laughter, the cries… the love.

Suddenly, the house became so quiet. It was like silence became our loudest scream. The television is now turned off and my mum is hopelessly dying on the ground. I run towards her and carry her at my back. I cry for help but the people ignore me until my mum… lost her last breath.

This planet that I live in now had saved us from extinction, yet it is one of the reasons why we might vanish forever. Mars is not a livable planet. It kills us. I wish I could turn back time. I wish I had the courage to fight before. I wish I did not give up easily.

After my mum died, I had always been outside, at the top of the same skyscraper, watching the people. I never had the guts to go home, because it would just remind me on how I failed to save my mother . I started to hate the idea that I begged and cried for people’s help when I knew that they won’t even help me. After a month, I have seen many lives taken by this planet. Same process, same reason.

I decided to go down and walk on the streets for once. As I was about the cross the road, I felt a stinging pain in my chest. I knew I had to go. I knew it was my time. As I helplessly lie down the ground, coughing blood, I looked at my surroundings. I started to think that I am in Earth. It resembled it, the planet I used to live on. Is this Earth? Am I dreaming? Or am I just blinded by hope that everything will be back the way it was even if I couldn’t experience it anymore? The trees.. the wooden houses… the breeze of the sea… Finally, even before my last breath, I was able to take a look at our old planet once more.

4 Replies to “Future Dystopia Creative Writing”

  1. Very well constructed piece of writing over all and shows great detail and creativity especially with the senses. For example

    “The revolting smell of the city suffocates me. Its metallic smell, that tastes like rust, brings illness to the people, slowly killing each and every one of us.”
    How ever i think you could also work on sentence starters. For example most of your sentences start with “The” or “then”. You could try and use prepasistion which would give you more opportunities to enhance your writing even further by describing your surroundings. Also it could be good if you start your story with a sense or a feeling. You could use wind or burning light or expand on the loneliness to let the reader have a more emotion connection. Also another way to enhance your writing could be to take the time to go into serious depth about one of your ideas/surroundings.Very well done overall how ever. Good work.

  2. This is really cool writing Czaliya. I like the way you ended the story with the character describing its surrounding and making an awful situation have beautiful parts. The only thing I would offer in advice would be, at the start, I think you should add a feeling, like describing a breeze that will just add to the emptiness that you are describing. over all the story is great though.

  3. “which they always dreamt about” is a cool example of a relative clause and also adds a lot of emotion showing how they haven’t got what they want.

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